How to Write About Trauma Without Re-Traumatizing Yourself

"Welcome to The Legacy Project Podcast, where we honor life’s stories—both the joyful and the difficult—with care, courage, and compassion. I’m your host, Don Fessenden, and today we’re stepping into a delicate but deeply important topic: how to write about trauma without re-traumatizing yourself.

Telling the truth about painful experiences is often part of building a powerful legacy. But revisiting those wounds without support or strategy can reopen what we’ve worked hard to heal.

In this episode, we’ll explore how to approach writing about trauma gently, how to recognize your emotional limits, and how to create safety around your storytelling process—so that sharing your truth becomes an act of empowerment, not a source of harm.

Let’s walk through this together, with care."

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Transcript

Don: 0:10

"Welcome to The Legacy Project Podcast, where we honor life’s stories—both the joyful and the difficult: with care, courage, and compassion. I’m your host, Don Fessenden, and today we’re stepping into a delicate but deeply important topic: how to write about trauma without re-traumatizing yourself. Telling the truth about painful experiences is often part of building a powerful legacy. But revisiting those wounds without support or strategy can reopen what we’ve worked hard to heal. In this episode, we’ll explore how to approach writing about trauma gently, how to recognize your emotional limits, and how to create safety around your storytelling process: so that sharing your truth becomes an act of empowerment, not a source of harm. Let’s walk through this together, with care.""Writing about traumatic experiences can be one of the most cathartic and transformative things you do. It gives voice to pain that’s often been silenced. It allows you to take back the narrative. And it can even help others who are navigating similar struggles. But here’s the truth: writing about trauma isn’t therapy, and if you dive in too quickly or without support, it can do more harm than good. The goal is not to relive the trauma: it’s to reclaim it. That means pacing yourself. Creating boundaries. And knowing the difference between writing through pain and being consumed by it.""Before you write a single word about trauma, check in with yourself. Ask: Do I feel emotionally grounded right now? Am I in a safe space: physically and emotionally? Who can I turn to if this writing brings up more than I expected? It’s okay if the answer to those questions isn’t clear. That doesn’t mean you can’t write. It just means you should start slowly. Set the intention. Give yourself permission to pause or stop if needed. Some writers light a candle, take a walk, or practice deep breathing before writing about heavy memories. These rituals aren’t just calming: they’re a way of telling your body, You’re safe now. You’re in control.""Let me offer a few strategies that have helped writers I’ve worked with write about trauma safely: Use distance. Instead of writing in first person, write in third person. Say'she' or'he' instead of'I.' This small shift can provide just enough emotional space to make writing feel less raw. Write in fragments. Trauma memories are often nonlinear. Don’t force yourself to write a clean narrative. Jot down moments, images, sensations. Allow the story to unfold over time. Time-box your writing. Set a timer for 10 or 15 minutes. When the timer ends, stop. Step away. Come back later only if you feel okay. Take breaks. Pause often. Drink water. Get fresh air. Return only when you feel grounded. Focus on what you’ve learned: not just what you lived. Reflection transforms trauma writing into legacy storytelling. It allows you to say,“This happened, but here’s who I became.” And always: always: balance the heavy with something light. End each writing session by writing something joyful, hopeful, or calming.""There’s no shame in needing help. In fact, writing about trauma can stir things that have been buried for years. If you find yourself anxious, depressed, triggered, or overwhelmed: pause. You’re not failing. You’re being wise. Consider working with: A licensed therapist who understands trauma A writing coach trained in trauma-informed practices A support group or trusted friend who can hold space for you Remember: telling your story should free you, not break you. The most powerful storytellers are the ones who know when to ask for help.""Writing about trauma isn’t about glorifying pain. It’s about giving it shape, meaning, and—eventually: peace. When you write about what hurt you, you’re not just documenting suffering. You’re showing your strength. You’re building a bridge for those who come after you. You’re saying: This was hard, but I’m still here. And if you’re struggling, you can survive too. Your story, when written with care and courage, can become someone else’s roadmap to hope. That’s what legacy is about.""As we close today’s episode, I want to offer you this simple truth: you are the author, not the event. You control what to write, when to write, and how deeply to go. Your trauma is part of your story: but it’s not the whole story. And by writing with intention, you can transform pain into purpose, and wounds into wisdom. If you’re walking this delicate path and need guidance, The Legacy Project: A Guide to Sharing Your Story includes gentle prompts, safety tips, and pacing strategies designed to support you every step of the way. Thank you for trusting me with this sacred topic. And thank you for the courage it takes to even consider telling the hardest parts of your story. This is The Legacy Project Podcast. Keep writing. Keep healing. And always: leave your mark with compassion, for yourself and for others. I’ll see you next time."