How to Write About Sibling Relationships

"Welcome to The Legacy Project Podcast, where we dive into the heart of storytelling and explore how sharing your journey can shape generations. I’m your host, Don Fessenden, and today we’re focusing on a relationship that’s often one of the longest and most layered in a person’s life—your relationship with your siblings.

Whether you grew up with a house full of brothers and sisters or just one sibling you shared everything—or nothing—with, these relationships are rich with emotion, memory, and complexity. Sibling stories often blend love and rivalry, loyalty and distance, shared laughter and moments of tension.

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Transcript

Don: 0:12

"Welcome to The Legacy Project Podcast, where we dive into the heart of storytelling and explore how sharing your journey can shape generations. I’m your host, Don Fessenden, and today we’re focusing on a relationship that’s often one of the longest and most layered in a person’s life: your relationship with your siblings. Whether you grew up with a house full of brothers and sisters or just one sibling you shared everything: or nothing: with, these relationships are rich with emotion, memory, and complexity. Sibling stories often blend love and rivalry, loyalty and distance, shared laughter and moments of tension. Today, we’re going to talk about how to write authentically about your siblings—the bonds, the breakups, the moments that defined your connection—and how capturing these stories can reveal more about who you are and where you come from. Let’s get started.""If you’re thinking about your life story, it’s easy to center it on your parents, your career, your children: but don’t overlook your siblings. These are the people who often saw your childhood from the same front row. They witnessed the same holidays, the same family dynamics, and the same formative events: but often experienced them very differently. Writing about your siblings adds dimension to your own story. I’ve heard people say,'Well, we don’t talk much anymore,' or'We were never close.' But that’s still a story worth telling. Distance, conflict, or absence can be just as telling as warmth and connection. And for those with strong sibling bonds, writing about those shared experiences can preserve some of the most meaningful memories you have. From the inside jokes to the silent understanding, siblings are part of the emotional fabric of your story.""If you’re not sure where to begin, start with a single memory: something simple. Maybe it was building forts in the living room, fighting over who got the last cookie, or defending each other on the playground. Write the moment in detail. What were you both doing? How old were you? What did that experience say about your relationship at the time? For example, I once wrote about a memory of racing bikes with my younger brother down a steep hill. I remember the sound of the tires on gravel, the reckless laughter, and how he wiped out and scraped his knee. I helped him up, and for a few minutes, we weren’t just siblings: we were teammates. That one scene carried so much more than just a scrape and a race. It captured our bond at that age: playful, competitive, but ultimately loyal. The key is to find moments that reveal something deeper: not just what happened, but what it meant.""Not every sibling relationship is easy—and that’s okay. Writing about friction or distance can be just as powerful as writing about closeness. Ask yourself: Was there a turning point in your relationship with a sibling? Was there a moment of betrayal, or a time when you drifted apart? Is there something you wish you had said: or still want to say? Be honest. But also, be fair. Write from your perspective, not to place blame, but to process. You might find that through writing, you uncover why your sibling acted the way they did, or why a certain moment hurt more than you realized. And sometimes, in writing about those tensions, we make space for healing. I’ve seen storytellers come to surprising realizations: sometimes even reaching out to reconnect with estranged siblings after telling their story.""Whether your sibling is your best friend, your opposite, or somewhere in between, they’ve likely shaped your identity. Think about: What lessons you learned from your siblings, directly or indirectly. How birth order, age gap, or personality differences played a role. What parts of them you see in yourself now: habits, phrases, values. Maybe your older sister taught you how to stand up for yourself, or your younger brother showed you how to be more patient. Maybe a sibling’s absence made you more independent. Whatever the case, write it. The ways in which we mirror or rebel against our siblings is part of our growth, and it's a meaningful layer of your legacy.""Writing about your siblings doesn’t just preserve your memories: it helps future generations understand the dynamics that shaped your family. Imagine your children or grandchildren reading stories about you and your siblings growing up together, facing the world side by side: or drifting apart and finding your way back. These stories don’t just preserve what happened: they preserve what mattered. You can write a full chapter about each sibling, or simply include stories where they naturally appear. Either way, you’re giving readers: and yourself: a fuller picture of who you are.""As we wrap up today’s episode, I encourage you to take a moment and reflect on your siblings. What are the stories only the two of you know? What’s a moment you’ll never forget? What would you want future generations to know about that bond, that person, that influence in your life? Start with one memory. A summer day. A shared loss. A holiday you’ll never forget. Then write what it meant, and why it still matters. And if you’re looking for a guide to help you shape your story: whether it’s about siblings, parents, culture, or personal transformation: check out my book, The Legacy Project: A Guide to Sharing Your Story. Thank you for being part of this journey with me. This is The Legacy Project Podcast. Your story matters. Start writing, start sharing, and leave your mark. I’ll see you next time."