Writing About Your Parents and Their Influence

"Welcome to The Legacy Project Podcast, where we explore the art of storytelling and how your lived experiences—your values, your memories, your relationships—become part of a legacy that endures. I’m your host, Don Fessenden, and today’s episode focuses on something deeply personal for all of us: writing about your parents and their influence.

Whether your relationship with your parents was loving, complicated, distant, or all of the above, they shaped you. They influenced your worldview, your habits, your fears, and your dreams—sometimes by what they did, and sometimes by what they didn’t do. Writing about your parents isn’t just a way to honor their role in your life; it’s also a powerful way to understand your own story more fully.

Today, we’ll look at how to write honestly about your parents, how to balance truth with compassion, and how to reflect on the legacy they passed on to you—consciously or not. Let’s dive in."

"Start writing. Start sharing. Leave your legacy."

Transcript

Don: 0:12

"Welcome to The Legacy Project Podcast, where we explore the art of storytelling and how your experiences: your values, your memories, your relationships: become part of a legacy that endures. I’m your host, Don Fessenden, and today’s episode focuses on something deeply personal for all of us: writing about your parents and their influence. Whether your relationship with your parents was loving, complicated, distant, or all of the above, they shaped you. They influenced your worldview, your habits, your fears, and your dreams: sometimes by what they did, and sometimes by what they didn’t do. Writing about your parents isn’t just a way to honor their role in your life; it’s also a powerful way to understand your own story more fully. Today, we’ll look at how to write honestly about your parents, how to balance truth with compassion, and how to reflect on the legacy they passed on to you: consciously or not. Let’s dive in.""When we sit down to write our stories, we often start with ourselves: our childhood, our accomplishments, our challenges. But to understand our lives, we have to look at the people who were there from the beginning. Writing about your parents offers you the chance to see your story in context. You’re not just writing about them: you’re exploring how their decisions, personalities, and even their shortcomings influenced who you became. And here’s the beauty of it: this isn’t about casting blame or painting perfect portraits. It’s about being honest. Reflecting. Asking questions like, What values did my parents teach me? What parts of myself mirror them? What did I learn from their example: and from their mistakes? These are the threads that help you weave your life story into something textured and real.""When you think about your parents, what’s the first image that comes to mind? Not the big events: start smaller. Maybe it’s the sound of your mother’s laugh in the kitchen. The way your father folded the newspaper every morning. The scent of your parents’ cologne or the rhythm of their footsteps coming down the hall. These small sensory memories are powerful entry points. They help your reader feel what you felt: and they help you begin. You might write something like:'Dad always smelled like sawdust and Old Spice. He came home tired, but he always made time to toss the football with me for a least ten minutes, no matter what kind of day he’d had.' That one sentence says so much more than just,'He was a hard-working dad.' It shows who he was, and what he meant to you. These fragments: these moments: build the foundation of your story.""Not every parent-child relationship is easy. And when we write about our parents, we might feel torn between honoring them and telling the truth. But I believe you can do both. You can write honestly and compassionately. Start by writing from your perspective: not as a historian, but as a son or daughter reflecting on your experience. You don’t need to solve every mystery or justify every action. You’re not putting them on trial: you’re showing how you felt, what you saw, and what you took from it. One storyteller I worked with struggled to write about her emotionally distant mother. But through writing, she began to understand why her mother was that way: she had grown up during wartime, in survival mode. That didn’t erase the pain, but it added depth and context. When you write from a place of understanding: even if it’s incomplete: you open the door to healing. And sometimes, the process of writing itself becomes the way we find peace with our parents’ legacy.""Your parents' influence shows up in unexpected ways. You might have inherited their sense of humor… or their stubbornness. Their love of music… or their fear of failure. Maybe you cook the way your mom did, or maybe you’ve built a life that looks nothing like the one your father imagined for you. These echoes of your parents: the ones you’ve kept, the ones you’ve rejected, and the ones you didn’t even realize were there: belong in your story. Ask yourself: What values did they teach me, intentionally or not? What habits do I have today because of how I was raised? In what ways do I still hear their voice when I make decisions? Sometimes writing about these things surprises you. I once wrote about my mon's rigid sense of structure: how, growing up, I pushed against it. But later in life, I found myself relying on that same structure during difficult times. Her influence, even in rebellion, was shaping who I became.""Writing about your parents isn’t just for you: it’s also a gift to future generations. Your children, grandchildren, and beyond may never meet your parents. But through your words, they can know them. They can see their humor, their struggles, their beliefs. They can understand where they came from. And even more than that—they’ll understand you. When you preserve your parents’ stories, you’re preserving family identity. You’re capturing a lineage not just of names and dates, but of values, resilience, and love. It doesn’t have to be formal. A few well-written reflections, a favorite story, a letter, a journal entry: these are the building blocks of legacy. The most important thing is that you write it now, while the memories are still alive in you.""As we wrap up today’s episode, I want to leave you with this thought: your parents are part of your story: but you get to choose how to tell it. Write about the joy. Write about the hardship. Write about the things they taught you, and the things you had to learn on your own. Write with honesty, with courage, and with compassion. If you start with one memory: a moment, a phrase, a scent: you’ll be surprised how quickly the rest follows. And if today’s episode inspired you, I’d love to hear your story. Connect with me on social media or visit my website. And if you’re ready to take the next step in sharing your legacy, check out my book, The Legacy Project: A Guide to Sharing Your Story. Thank you for joining me on The Legacy Project Podcast. Your parents’ influence helped shape your story: but your voice is what brings it to life. Start writing, start sharing, and leave your mark. I’ll see you next time."